MY STORY
Shocking cancer news sidelined my back-to-school plans
September 25, 2008
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Alanna Houston
SPECIAL TO THE STAR
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I was supposed to be starting my first summer job, going back to McGill University for my second year studying neuroscience, getting settled in my new student ghetto apartment, going out for sushi and coffee with friends, shopping, having fun.
Instead, on July 4, 2008, just three weeks shy of my 19th birthday, I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL).
How the hell did I get here?
During my exams in April, I felt overly tired and emotionally drained. But then, isn't that how all first-year science students feel?
I returned home to the Toronto area to start my summer job as a bank teller. I was eager to learn the ropes and enjoyed my time there. However, each day, I grew more and more fatigued.
I decided to visit my doctor at the end of May. She performed routine blood tests in early June that showed poor liver function and a decreased white blood cell count.
My doctor's concern led to two admissions to the emergency department, where it was concluded that I was either experiencing mononucleosis or a viral form of hepatitis. A hematologist and a gastroenterologist got involved.
I developed a throat infection, which led to a fever of 40C and landed me as an in-patient at my local hospital.
Blood work indicated that I was severely neutropenic (low level of white blood cells, which makes the body vulnerable to bacterial and fungal infections).
On July 3, a bone marrow test was ordered.
At 9 a.m. the next day, as my mom sat on the end of my bed rubbing my feet, we heard the distinct sound of my hematologist's heels coming down the hall.
She entered my room, washed her hands and pulled up a chair. She smiled and said she had initial results back from the bone marrow and that they weren't good.
"Alanna, you have leukemia."
Initially, the world stopped.
I did not know a lot about leukemia – I only knew that leukemia meant CANCER and cancer is scary. The doctor told me that I was to be seen by one of the top leukemia doctors in North America and that, although treatment would be long and tough, I had youth on my side.
I don't really remember much of the next few days ... the ambulance ride to Princess Margaret Hospital, more preliminary tests and examinations.
My mom says I went into "the zone" – that I sort of retreated from my current reality – but I wasn't aware I was doing it.
I think it was my body and mind's way of coping.
At the end of the first week, the doctors confirmed the diagnosis of juvenile acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
They filled me in on the good, the bad and the ugly.
The good news was that this form of leukemia has a successful cure rate of between 80 and 90 per cent.
The bad news was that treatment wouldn't be easy – it would be a mixture of chemotherapies and radiation.
Lastly, the ugly news: treatment would last a full two years, assuming everything went according to the plan.
At first I only wanted to see my immediate family, my parents and my 14-year-old sister. I didn't want to explain what was happening to anyone else until I could understand and accept it myself. I am learning to deal with the reactions of my friends. Some are very supportive and some find it difficult to feel comfortable with me.
After I completed the first and second phases of therapy, I realized the doctors were correct. It was not easy – in fact, it sucked.
Thankfully, I had the most amazing team of nurses and doctors helping me through the hospital stay.
Then it was time to start the third phase, the phase the doctors say the majority of patients find the most difficult.
It has been a challenge. Most of the time, I am tired, weak, in pain, or nauseous, but I have moments when I feel almost normal.
I have lost a lot of hair, but still have my eyebrows and eyelashes. During my second week at PMH, my dad and I went to visit "Zain" at the wig boutique.
He worked his magic and fitted me with a natural-looking wig.
On my better days, I put on my wig, some mascara and a little blush and try to act normal. We go out to eat, to a movie or a short trip to the mall.
There have actually been times when I have had to remind myself that this is really happening.
Those are the days when "almost normal" feels fantastic.
I have come to the realization that this is my new job: Getting healthy is going to be a lot of work.
My ultimate goal is to beat this by summer 2010.
It is like a NASCAR race: I have a fantastic pit crew whose every desire and effort is geared to helping me succeed.
But I am the one who is behind the wheel. I am the one who has to cross the finish line.
It will be my biggest challenge – and I am going to win.
Toronto Star