The more flustered you are, the more faithful, study finds
September 30, 2011
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Valerie Hauch
STAFF REPORTER
Of course, you meant well when you warmly congratulated your boss on her pregnancy only to find out that she actually has a weight problem.
Then there was the time your ankle twisted and you did an awkward swan dive into a nest of cubicles in front of the entire, enthralled office.
On both occasions your red face was so bright a beacon that Santa Claus could have harnessed you to the front of his sleigh and never thought of Rudolph again.
But instead of being ashamed of these sorts of cringeworthy moments, embrace your embarrassment — it’s a sign you are more trustworthy and more generous, according to a University of California, Berkeley study.
Those who get flustered also tend to be more faithful, according to the study findings, published in this month’s online issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
So don’t worry if you get embarrassed easily — it’s a “good sign,’’ says Robb Willer, a UC Berkeley social psychologist and co-author of the study, along with Matthew Feinberg and Dacher Keltner.
Embarrassment is a “sort of social apology . . . I didn’t mean to do that. I’m actually a very social person, very reliable, someone you can trust,’’ says Willer. “The biggest take-away of the research is that if you’re someone who gets embarrassed easily, you shouldn’t feel any shame. It actually reveals virtuous aspects of your character.’’
The researchers did a series of experiments over three years involving different groups of people, and gauged and studied their reactions. In one, 60 college students were videotaped as they recounted embarrassing moments like mistaking an overweight woman for one who is pregnant. The students also participated in a game to measure altruism. The ones who showed greater levels of embarrassment were also the most generous.
In addition, getting flustered and being faithful seem to be linked.
The people in the study who were easily embarrassed “were more oriented to committed relationships,’’ said Willer. So it may be a good sign if you are dating someone who gets red-faced when he trips over his own feet, he says.
Signs of embarrassment, like a downward gaze to one side while smirking and partially covering the face, should not be confused with signs of shame in which someone covers their whole face, according to the study.
Willer said it could also be construed that people who do not show high levels of embarrassment are “less trustworthy, less reliable, less generous, on average.’’
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